I need sleep…now!

I need sleep…now!

“To sleep, perchance to dream…”
William Shakespeare

Years ago, I asked my good friend Guy Bond if he had a roommate for a meeting we would both be attending. He replied succinctly, “I’m old enough to have my own room.” This struck me as very grown-up, and I was determined to have my own room too, darn it. I’ve earned it. But try as I might, every ten years or so, I end up rooming with someone who snores.

If this were to happen at home, not your home of course, but I’m just saying, you could try the gentle request, “Honey, could you roll over?” This may have mixed results for those brave enough to utter such words in the wee hours.

Now, if your business roommate is a snorer, the “Honey, could you roll over?” request may be just the right touch, or you could bring along a soup spoon.

Why a soup spoon you ask? Because you may need something with a little heft when the foghorn next to you starts blowing. Gently pull out your spoon and rap it smartly on the headboard, wall, or forehead of your roommate and then quickly pretend to be asleep. The abrupt crack will awaken your companion long enough for you to fall back asleep, and he won’t know what hit him. If you forget your spoon, use your iPhone, as I did recently. It worked wonders and when asked the next morning, “How did you sleep?” I was able to reply, “Great…. how about you?”

And for your own safety, please do not try this at home.