Snake Eyes

Snake Eyes

“Be sincere, be brief, be seated.”

Franklin D. Roosevelt

My dad and Dick Jappe were great friends. They met as newbie pharmaceutical reps in the mid-fifties when both went to work for the Stuart Company, the maker of Mylanta, Mylicon, and other products. My dad became the top pharmaceutical rep for Stuart, and Dick was a standout in his work as well.

Dick was a ten in terms of likability. He lived in Palos Verdes and loved the ocean. I remember going for a family visit at Dick’s house, with him giving us a walking and swimming tour of the tide pools below the cliffs. It was one of the great thrills of my life at the time; until then, my only experience of the ocean was playing in the waves. I’m sure Dick influenced my later love of scuba diving.

When it came time to retire, Dick’s salesmen friends planned a big retirement bash, and my dad, as one of his best friends, was a speaker at the party. My dad had a love of antiques and old cars, and he brought along an antique bulb car horn to enliven his talk. I’ll bet he honked the horn more than a few times during his speech.

After my dad’s talk, the new regional manager from Stuart came up to the podium. I remember his name but won’t say it here, as my dad really disliked the guy and had nicknamed him “Snake Eyes,” a term, popular among the salesmen, that I often heard around our home. I think what really irked my dad was that this guy wanted him to “sell strictly by the book,” and my dad, the most successful salesman in the company, had a more unconventional style.

When Joh-, oops, Snake Eyes got up there, he spent about thirty seconds lauding Dick, and then he launched into a long pep talk to the other salesmen in the audience about how to best reach their sales goals for the year.

Just as Snake Eyes was really settling into his pitch, from somewhere out in the audience came a loud, “HONK! HONK!”

The crowd went nuts, and Snake Eyes’ speech quickly came to an end.

As my dad was just shy of retirement, perhaps honking at a guy, who was essentially his boss, was not quite as wild as it sounds.

He had planned to retire at age 62, and he did, spending the next thirty years buying and selling antiques, which is what he really loved.

So, what was the sales technique my dad employed, despite Snake Eyes’ advice? He was nice to the people at the front desk, who let him in to see the doctors. While in the meeting, he talked with the doctors about hunting, fishing, antiques, and old cars. After the conversation, they would ask him what they ought to buy.