What Do You Want Now?

What Do You Want Now?

“God, please teach me to speak (and email) the right words at the right time
with the right tone, so I can live in peace and happiness.”
Anonymous

I regularly communicate with several hundred people over email, and I’ve been doing this for years. Over time, I’ve noticed that some practices on email work well, when trying to get what I want, and others make matters worse, a lot worse in some cases.

So, if you think of email as being an extension of talking, and the people that you send them to as being in relationship with you, then certain things become fairly obvious. Let’s take an example.

You’ve got a problem. Someone you work with, near or far, is not getting something done that you want or need to get done. You feel frustrated, and rightly so. They should know and do what you want, when you want it, and make it snappy, by the way, with a cheerful attitude. And while we’re at it, they should have done this in the first place, without your having to ask them to!

Have I left anything out?

But they aren’t doing that — no, not by a long shot, Bucko.

So, what if there was a way to make it much more likely that they would?

Well, there is! This is what works in our office when we follow these simple rules, which we don’t always follow, because we, like you, and them, are only human too.

• NEVER USE ALL CAPS IN AN EMAIL. This comes off like you are yelling at your recipient.
• Use a precise, single-subject line. I am amazed at the number of emails we get with no subject line, a vague subject line or multiple subjects in the same line. All of these make your email hard to file and, subsequently, hard to find if needed for later reference.
• Stick to one subject per email. The more subjects you cover, the slower the response, because your recipient will not reply until they can address all your items. They may never answer.
• Be brief. The longer your email, the slower the response.
• Be polite, always. You know how your mom always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything?” That works in email too.
• Ask for help. Rather than criticize, just ask for help. Remember, your goal is to enhance your relationship, rather than destroy it.
• Anger. If I feel upset while composing the email, I will send it to my assistant and ask her to take out all the heat or attitude and send it back for me to proof.
• No shame. If there is a chance that you might embarrass the person you are writing to, don’t copy their boss or coworkers. Shaming never accomplishes anything but the opposite of what you want.
• Oversharing. Ask yourself before hitting send: “If this email were on the front page of the L.A. Times tomorrow, and everyone I know saw it, would I be happy or sad?”
• The Super Important Email. Write it and let it marinate overnight. You may realize you don’t even need to send it.

What are the benefits of doing this?

• You’re more likely to receive a prompt and polite reply.
• You won’t offend your recipients, thus making them more cooperative in the future.
• You will build your relationship with them.
• They will be happy to help you.
• You won’t drain their batteries, or yours.
• You will enhance teamwork.
• You will teach by example, and they may adopt these practices too.
• You will get what you want.

By the way, I learned every piece of advice in this post the hard way, many times over, and some I am still learning.

Good Luck!